Heyas all

Well I am so sorry its been a while but this pregnancy has been full of morning sickness which happens most days... and then lasts all day. I am now 11 weeks pregnant and weighing 88.5kgs so I have lost 100g but hey im not trying this time to loose weight.... I am starting to show which for me is unusual because I have never had that with any of my past pregnancies... and my size 14s are starting to get rather tight if you know what I mean !

Well on the 28th of October its my 30th birthday so this year I am planning to glam my self up for the occasion as most of my family have not seen me this small before.... My mum and Dad went and bought me a new top for my birthday its very pretty its aqua , brown and white and it really is my style, I also got a new handbag its white and has a hand painted effect on the front ... Im not allowed to have it until my birthday ! and i bought the above shoes to go with my outfit there so cute I usually keep to those boring black shoes but I decided to try something different.... I have ordered some new pants to go with my outfit also...

So this girls getting glammed up to show the new me..... I tried hard to get near my goal weight but it will happen I think if i hadnt fallen pregnant I would of gotten there or very close.... but I am very happy being 88kgs and to have my last child now is just perfect.... so my goal will wait until next year !

Thanks all for the lovely comments I have recieved I hope my blog will help others who wish to loose weight or have children.... until next time <3

A special announcement

Well I am really pleased with how the weight loss has been going, but I started craving Timtams not somthing I like and on top of that I want hot dogs with mustard..... so last week I did a pregnancy test and sure enough I'm pregnant again..... so there goes the weight loss for another 9 months but we are very happy though unexpected....

I had a ultrasound yesterday and I am 5.5 weeks pregnant and the baby has a heart beat of 125 and its up high and looks very good so I am very relieved. It also means I need to start eating more and towards the second triemester have some liquid removed from my band.....

So I am not so concerned atm with my weight more on how my little ones going , though I shall not get to big I know I may put on weight though with every pregnancy I have had I have lost weight so right now its time to eat and to be healthy and enjoy the pregnancy......

Im back

I do apologise for the non posting for 2 weeks but I finally have new scales and a break from thinking about my weight did me good as I still lost weight, but im back on track and ready for another week. Im down to 88.6 kg's on my new scales they weight heavier than the old ones but they will do.... but wow scales are so expensive and all I wanted was kg weight ones not the fat water ones and the prices ranged from $39.00 to $199.00 and that was at big W....

I am shocked to say I walked from the showgrounds in Adelaide to Adelaide city which took me 20 mins or so this week and its not a short distance it was a big walk and I didnt need to stop once.... or my ventolin. I also went to the Adelaide Markets and walked around looking at the different stalls and picking up bargains.

Oh well have a good week all :)

Wow 2kg loss back on track

Well I found out I had not lost 2kgs my son broke my scales and there not showing the correct weight.... so sorry folks... what a left down ! I now have to wait until I can get some new scales until I weigh my self again oh well maybe a break from weighing my self is a good idea.... atm its showing on the scales that I weigh 149kgs which is not correct and then it flashes and says 70kgs and well who knows.... I had looked at some weight watchs scales but I heard there not the best so Ill keep looking. Sorry all :)



Well I am on track and I lost 2kg's this week wow I havent done much different just havent been feeling the best. I have had a interesting week this week.... I have been looking at future plans with the weight loss and my friend zowie just happened to come over and she is having a tummy tuck done so I got to see all the paper work..... I have cancelled my appointment with Dr Giffan and I have booked in to see Margaret Anderson who comes to Christies Beach every 2 weeks which is much closer and she does it under the public system... so on the 3rd of Sept at 10 am I will find out all the ins and outs and find out how long I have to wait. Zowie has been told she will be done within 2 months so I may have it done this year, It would be very exciting if I could.

So with the 2kg loss I have 12.8kgs until I reach my goal weight of 75kgs and I have 13 weeks until the 28th of October so I am well on track at loosing that much weight by my birthday or be near to it.

I am also fitting into size 12's yes wow I have always looked at beautiful tiny clothing but never thought I would ever fit into it so I am very happy that now I can fit into it.

So the plan for the future of my weight loss is to : relook at my current diet and add more fruit and veg, keep to 1000 cal maybe a small ammount more, get back on track I have been having a few more chocolates than I need, make sure iced coffee is banned from the house ( Its one my problems).... and to keep the weight off as well as walking more faster and further.... and to give up smoking ! thats a big one I really need to.

well all have a nice week <3>

Going through the public system for a tummy tuck

Well another photo and you can really see the difference in my face.... I only lost 400g this week but its still a loss and for 14 weeks now I have lost weight not put weight on so I am very pleased with how things have been going.

As you can see from the facial shot I have started to show some excess skin under my chin its one of my main problems I have allot of skin and I have been thinking about what to do about it.... I was going to go private for a tummy tuck but the cost is more than we can affored so this week I am going to see about getting a referral to getting it done at flinders medical centre. My tummy , back and chest area is the worst at the moment and though im so happy that I have lost 65.2kgs which is a massive ammount of weight I have to feel happy with my body also...... I have also started to get skin rashes that bleed and smell and my back really is starting to get sore.

But I am not going to make a firm decision until I meet with my local doctor and see if things can be done. So yes another loss :)

Excess skin and other thoughts

I sit here and know I should be proud of what weight I have lost but I went to buy new bra's my old ones are to big and it was disheartening to find due to so much excess skin I am still 18's and even then the skin pops over the side.... and my cup size is down to c and even then it leaves room.... I have decided I am not going to live looking like I am for the rest of my life and once this weights off I have to do somthing drastic.... people say oh excersize but when you have been this size for 10 years or more it wont bounce back... so yes Im not happy I am size 14 but the skin is becoming such a problem that I dont even like looking in the mirror at my self...

Well on a good note I am now 89.6kgs another 500g loss I am so happy to be into my 80's now and even though the weight loss has slowed down i feel its a good loss.... I am on track to reach my goal weight by October the 28th only 14.6kgs until i reach 75kgs... or at least be close to it and now im into my 80's it doesnt seem that far away to reach.

Well its tax time again as all us here in aussie land know and I feel we should get a decent return back or I hope so I can put some money away for clothing... though my mum has bought me so much great stuff from the op shop that has tags on them even.... I am thinking more of when I reach my goal weight.

So close

Well another Monday , time goes so fast ..... It seems like only yesterday I was starting on this Journey and now Im well underway.... this week I am down to 90.1kgs so close to getting under the 90s and into the 80's, I lost 1.2kgs and I am really pleased.... I now only have 15kgs to go.

I have had another good week and feel relieved that i lost weight... I had thought it had slowed down but seems its working really well.

Interview with Sydney Morning herald

On Thursday 17th July The Sydney Morning Herald had a interview in there essential section of there paper with me to do with my Lap band. It was a fantastic oppertunity to share my personal experience about the lap-band and I am pleased that it is a possitive interview about the band.

I have scanned and posted the interview and you can find the link below.... its scanned so sorry about the quality.

http://heartsdesire-fantasy.deviantart.com/art/Interview-with-SMH-92021453

I also found out I have a sinus infection its not very nice I have the worse smell at the moment that just will not go away even with vicks near my nose..... so I went off to the doctors and got some antiobotics so fingers crossed it will go away soon.

Photographed for Sydney Morning Herald Interview

I was interviewed a week ago for Sydney Morning Herald Newspaper about My weight loss with the lap-band and today the Photographer came and took some photos of me down the beach. It was very windy very cold and I have the flue so I wasnt feeling fantastic but he told me they looked fantastic. The interview should be in the Sydney Morning Herald on July the 17th which is rather exciting and it makes me feel better knowing Im helping to promote the band. I will try find a copy of the paper and scan it up or if its on the website Ill post it so others can see but being from Adelaide we dont usually get that paper.

Well as I said I have the flue and its not pretty my head is so stuffed up and I feel pretty icky atm but the worst part is Joel and Joshy have it just as bad and theres not much I can do to make them feel better.... but I try keep them happy with lots of cuddles.

I had a scare though this morning I got on my scales and it said 1500kgs now my scales cannot go up that high and then I found Joel has broken the leg of them so I tried to fix them up and then got on again and Im 91.3kgs another 500g gone Im pretty pleased with that reading... I am also wearing size 14s, Mum when and got me allot of clothing from our local Op shop and they nearlly all fitted some are to small but they look good... I am so amazed at how different I look and I cannot wait to hit 75kgs the numbers are getting lower ! I am on track to reach my goal by October I think.

No more fills

Well my appointment went well with Dr Toouli, he was very pleased with my weight loss and said he feels I will not need any more fills, he also feels I should be at my goal weight by the time I see him next which is October the 7th. So yes no more fills and all seems to be going well and I am on track so I am really happy.

Though to say the least yesterday didnt go to plan... I left at 10.22am on the bus with Adien 12, Joel and Joshua and Joel started to be sick and he and joshie were all dressed up in matching outfits..... I then got to collonades and found I had left a form I needed to put in for Trent at centrelink and by the time I saw Dr Toouli the boys were starting up....

We ended up getting home at 6pm and it was a very long day I had put a lovely stew in the slow cooker on in the morning and I was looking forward to it, only to find my husband had unpluged it and so no stew for dinner..... we will have it tonight.. so I just made easy food and sat and watched tv .

Today I have such a headache and just feel so tired I could sit and curl up and go to sleep but no rest for the wicked they say hehe.....

1 day until i see Dr Toouli

After a late night drawing I woke up not in the best mood I must admit but i got on the scales and to be honest I have the flue so I really am not feeling to great and I am not a morning person especially after staying up until 2am. Well I am down to 91.8kgs so its another 1.2kgs gone.... and my size 16s are getting loose especially around my legs and waist. I did not measure my self today or yet I will get around to it.....

Tommorrow I am off to see Dr Toouli and I know his scales are different and will proberly not say the same as mine I feel confident that I will make him happy. I plan to have another fill just a little top up as I can fit in more than I should again but I am still loosing weight so I am very happy.... I now have 16.8kgs to go until I reach my goal of 75kgs the numbers are getting smaller.... and I am amazed I have gone from a BMI of 50.6 to a now BMI of 30 I never knew how big I really was I am now classed as Overweight no longer obese thats somthing to be proud of.

I went and colored my Hair yesterday its now darker with copper streaks its actually nice and really makes me look slimmer again, I am very pleased with it but it will take some getting used to, ill get a photo taken and post it. I also bought the bargain of the century..... I bought brand new on Ebay Adobe Photoshop CS 3 for....... $135.00 I was so shocked when I won it, now its just gotta arrive fingers crossed..... I am so happy i have always wanted it and now I will have it !.

Winter has arrived

Its funny how when your waiting for somthing and it finally comes well yes its raining and the grass is greener and my plants are very happy....and the brown lawn now seems to be a distant memory....

Well another weigh in and I am now 93kgs thats a 1.2kg loss this week , Im very pleased to see the numbers getting lower week by week and I have not put on weight in 2 months now its so good to see and I now only have 18kgs to go until my goal weight of 75kgs.

I now have 1 week until i see Dr J Toouli and I cannot wait I really feel good about the weight loss and I really am confident now that I am going to be able to reach my goal weight....

The family all still have the flue and its not very nice , my main concern is Joel and Joshy they really are unsettled with it and it cant be nice for them, also Joel is talking more now and you can understand the words he says his favourite thing is " Oh dear" its so cute and " Tah" he is growing up so fast just wish i could have him this age a little longer.

I did buy myself a treat this week I bought a wacom drawing tablet i cant wait to use it , i want to color some of my illustrations in but i am worried if i take it out Joel will go nuts with it so atm im waiting....

Onto the measurements

Waist: 33.3 - 1.7 inchs lost
Hips: 40 - 1 inch lost
Chest: 36 - none gone again from there

Flu season hits

Its the flu season has hit the family its made things not so nice at home even Joel and Joshua has it and the doc says just give them panadole.... and even though Joshy is sick he still has a beautiful smile on his little face. And Poor Trent is very sick I at least am feeling not to bad apart from a annoying cough when I lay down.

well weigh in again and i have lost 600g not as good as last week but its still not to bad , I do know once a month i seem to retain water more and its around this time last month i lost only 400g so Im not surprised.

Well I spent some time drawing again and this little cherub is one of my latest cuties you can see more on my devianArt page, url is in the post below...

I now have 2 weeks until I see Dr Toouli again I think he will be happy with the weight lost since I saw him last.

Ok onto the measurements......

Waist: 35 Inchs 1 inch lost

Hips: 41 " " 1 " "

Chest: 36 Inchs nothings changed there ( yay LOL)

I like Mondays

Its Another Monday and though today was a huge rush I actually did get the time to weigh and measure my self... I am now 94.8kgs another 1kg lost and I am really starting to see it now especially in my face and my legs.

I had a Leep operation done this morning so ended up at hospital by 7 and i am feeling some what tired and a few cramps but other than that fine... I think after a sleep ill feel even better. Also Trent started his Neiss course today and I phoned him and he said so far its going good, i am really proud of him hes always wanted to start his own computer tech buisness and now its started it can only get better.

Ok so onto those measurements I know I lost all over because Im now fitting into size 16 and as you can see from the photo's I am looking different.... I also have not used my ventolin for 2 weeks and im walking faster! so another great week. And wow where am I going rofl im getting rather small now i love it.

Oh and for those that would like to see art you can view my DevianArt page it shows my current art that I have done and feel free to chat I dont mind.

http://heartsdesire-fantasy.deviantart.com/

Waist:36 lost 1.3 inchs

Hips:42 lost 2.1 inchs

Chest: 36 lost 4 inchs

Total Lost: 7.4 Inchs

Retail Therapy

I got rid of 3 big bags full of clothing and I have about 2 more to go and well i have not much left so I went and decided to see what I could find and to my surprise 18's were far to loose so I tried size 16's thinking no im dreaming but they fitted and well wow im so amazed i cannot believe im in size 16's i have not fitted into them well since forever... do take a look at the photos on the right... I bought some Jeans, black pants , a black top and a red cardigan which i just love the photo does not do it justice it is very slimming.... so woot for shopping and getting smaller.

Another Monday already !

Im not sure if its just me but there are not enough hours in a day, I have been so busy this week that I have hardly had any time to my self....

Well on the scales this week I am down to 95.8kgs Im very pleased the numbers keep going lower so another 1.7kg loss for this week and I have lost a few inchs also which is great....

My Husband and I have some exciting news we are starting our own buisness a Computer Tech from home.... Trent applied to the NEISS program and he got in! im very proud of him and we were very lucky there was one spot left and after this neiss may be no more. He starts cert 4 in Buisness on Monday the 16th and we are both looking forward to see how it goes... I will be creating web sites ect and already have 4 people wanting sites made ( i need more time).

On Monday the 16th I will be having a small operation called the Leep operation due to the fact that im High grade for developing cervical cancer im not to happy about it but what can you do... so this week is going to be a big week as I have to go for tests at the hospital and go and sort out Trents buisness clothing.....

Ok onto the measurements:

Waist: 37.3 Lost 1.7

Hips: 44.1 Lost 0.9

Chest: 40 Lost 2.5

Total Lost: 5.1 inchs

And my other love is cartoon dolling this is a little fae I draw my web site is down atm but im going to work on getting it back up as soon as possible. It is created on my very own base.

Channel 10's interview

Another start of the week and I have had a rather exciting start.... today Channel 10 came to interview me about how the lap-band has saved my life and how my heath has been since having the lap-band. I will admit today I was very worried at first i have not ever done any thing like this but now its all over with i feel confident that I will not look silly on television and I hope i can use this to help others in considering weight loss surgery.So this evening i should be on channel 10 news :)

I alo got on those dreaded scales again and though I have not lost a huge ammount just another 400g this week but its still a nice loss i now weigh 97.5kgs well on my way to my goal of 75 kg's. So since seeing Dr J Toouli I have lost 5.4kgs im very pleased with that.

I also measured my self and...... in one week I have..... my little jeans look good !

Waist 39 inch's lost 2 inch's off my waist

Hips 45 inch's lost 1 inch off my hips

Chest 42 inch's lost 1.8 inch's off my chest

Oh a photo I have not seen in 10 years taken on my 18th birthday wow i do not reconize my self i was so different back then.... i like the hair but wow any way.

Another monday another weigh in

Well its Monday again and I got on my scales first thing and I am now ...... 97.9kg's that's another good loss for the week 1.1kg's so Im really pleased to see the scales showing lower numbers so far I have lost 5.1kgs in 3 weeks.

Last week was a interesting week the family and I all have the flue which hasn't been nice but it still has not stopped me from my daily walks... I also now do not fit into 3 pairs of my track pants they are so big on me that they fall off and the black pants I wore in the photo at 103kgs now fall off me also so I now need to sort out my clothing and get rid of them because I am not going back.

Well I am hoping for a quiet week this week again so I can continue on my weight loss and I need to get my website done ( my cartoon doll site). well the pic is my new hair cut and color its so easy to look after !

Forgot to add that I measured my self for the first time to see the inch's come off....

waist 41 inch's

Hips 46 inch's

Chest 44.3 inch's

What is the lap-band

So you may be asking your self what is the lap-band well I thought since this is whats assisted me in loosing the weight that I should tell you about it.

The Adjustable Gastric Lap-Band is a restrictive operation where a small pouch is formed at the top of your stomach with the gastric band, connected to the band is your port where saline can be put into the band which causes the band to tighten which slows down the amount of food you can fit into your stomach.

This means you loose weight by restricting the amount of food you can fit in and makes you feel fuller longer. The other great thing is the band is done by key hole surgery so its less evasive than other weight loss operations also means you get back to normal quicker.

The lap band can also be removed if you wish and your stomach will go back to its normal size but You do not need to have the band removed instead you can have the saline removed from the band which allows you to fit more in and if you start putting weight back on you can have more put in which helps you keep the weight off in the long run.

The band is Available in all Australian States and is usually covered with private health cover if you have had it in 12 months or more.... The weight you loose will depend on you and the choices you make.... the band is no easy way out and it will only work if you are willing to put the hard work in and eat healthy and keep active.

I hope this helps those that are looking at having the lap band done there is allot of web sites out there that give information but i just thought a little write up may assist others in knowing what the lap-band is and why its such a positive approach to weight loss if you feel you have tried every thing else and failed. The diagram on the left is what the band looks like when its on a person.

Went and got a new do

Well on Tuesday I went to collonades to get my new scales and got some fat/water/weight ones for $39.95 at Big W, I dont mind them though they are 1kg heavier than the chemist ones. While out I decided to get my hair cut and its short again but it looks much better and very slimming to my face I will get a photo taken to show you all.

On Sunday We are getting Joshua dedicated at my parents church and after we are going to try and get that photo with joel and Joshy and I and hopefully joel will behave.... if that is possible he is just full of beans ( as you can see from the photo).

Well its 5am and freezing cold so I might go hop back into bed , I have a busy day today a appointment with centrelink and then food shopping which I have not done in 2 weeks, when your loosing weight I find that we dont need to buy as much.

That photo and other thoughts

Well here is that photo I promised as I said he was not happy at all what can I say he had a bad day..... he seems to be coming down with the cold and has 3 more teeth coming through my poor baby boy it was a nice try though.

I thought I would mention that this blog is very helpful I have always planned to have one and hell if no one reads it so be it at least Its where I can keep up with my progress and see the changes in my self and if others read it great.

I feel really positive about reaching my goal weight by October the 28th which is my 30th birthday I really want to be looking trim for my birthday but even if I'm half way there by my birthday I will still fill very proud of what I have been able to achieve.

well bed time for me night night and sweet dreams.

Week 2 weigh in day

Another week has gone and well yes time to weigh my self but I never got around to getting those scales so I did go on the chemist ones again and I weigh 98kgs I'm finally under 100kgs ( does a little dance).

Today my Dad who is a photographer took some photo's of me and my boys but Joel would not behave he screamed the house down I will post that photo I promise its very um funny.

Other than that I feel very good i am now fitting into size 18's not the plus sized 18's the real store bought ones! I am very happy. I had expected the weight to come of faster since I have given up on icecream, icedcoffee, chocolate but i have still lost allot of weight.

Oh and tomorrow I am off to get those new scales ! and the photo is from the photo shoot today i cannot believe how different I look from the other photo's. I also posted a full bodied photo and in 2 weeks I do look smaller just a tiny bit but still smaller.

Week 1 since having my fill

The first week after my fill went farely well I have not wanted to eat much at all in fact I have not been able to handle solids and when I tried I was very sick, I am not used to the restriction.

I have walked every day and tried to keep to Nick's eating plan but had soups instead of the solids.... I did find my reflux has gotten worse and the tablets my doctor gave me Nexium have not helped so I went and got some liquid zantac which has helped.

I have also found I am so tired I am having a hard time keeping awake or getting up even so I started taking centrum and its working slowly but working I am feeling more awake again.

I also realized my scales lie...... On my scales I weighed 95kgs but on my parents I weighed 101kgs and on the scales at the chemist I weighed 101kgs also so I am going to toss my scales out and get some new ones...... so I will put down that I am 101kgs this week.

I also found another lovely photo this time it is me when I was 15 years old I never realized how big I looked back then.

Time for a fresh start

Though I can not turn back time I have not always been great with the band I have found since having Joshua that I wanted to get to my Goal weight of 75kg's and so there is no time like the present so I phoned Dr J Toouli.

I went and saw him on the 6th of May 2008 after not seeing him for 5 years he didn't recognize me and said he was so happy with the weight loss and that I should be proud. I got on his scales and I weighed 103 kg's still not under 100 kg's but close. He filled up my band and was surprised that I had only ever had 1 other fill in the whole 7 years and that it looked as if it had been done yesterday. He said he would see me in 2 months time. I also saw my dietitian Nick Wray for a recap and I did admit that my addiction had been farmers union iced coffee and that is why I may of not lost more weight and he told me that in 1 ltr of farmers union iced coffee there was 16g of fat and 800 cal and in a day I should only have 1000 cal so ouch ! no wonder I have been having a hard time with the weight again.

I also found this old pic taken of me in 1999 before my asthma attack I weighed 165kgs when this photo was taken ouch ! but I still love that photo and think I didn't look to bad.

Having children after being Banded

Sometimes people dream of being doctors, movie stars or models but I always wanted children and for me it was a important thing in life.

In 2004 after getting married we decided to start our family and so I had my implant removed and within 4 months I found out i was pregnant. The pregnancy was perfect and we were both so happy I was 16 weeks along when i woke one morning to find I was bleeding. Sadly on the 18th of October 2004 I suffered my first miscarriage, it was such a painful experience that just broke my heart and it took me a long time to get over it.

In 2005 I fell pregnant again but again it ended in a miscarriage but they had done 4 ultrasounds and had noticed that I had 5cm cysts on my ovaries and many more small ones both sides. I went searching to find out why I had both miscarriages but the doctors said they could not tell me anything unless I had 3 and for me that was not a option.

I went to visit the doctor that had delivered me Dr Barry Shultz who knew my family history he took blood tests noticed the cysts and told me I had "PCOS" I had never heard of it before , he put me on diaformin and on a low GI eating plan and again within 4 months I fell pregnant again.I weighed 115kgs at the time of falling pregnant and though it went well until 29 weeks he moved up and i couldn't handle it and had another asthma attack, this time I was in iccu over 9 days and in the ward 4 weeks, I also had a blood transfusion due to low iron but I soon got better. I came out of hospital weighing 97kgs due to being sick.

On the 23rd of Dec 2006 I gave birth to Joel Barry Cotter he was such a blessing and so wanted I could not of wished for a better Christmas present as he was. I decided to breastfeed and was doing farelly well with the help of tablets but my weight started to go on again I soon had gone back up to 120kgs. One day while out shopping I started to feel very sick and though my husband and I had not planned another baby so soon and I was not on diaformin this time I found out I was pregnant again. This pregnancy went so well and the funny thing is all I wanted was cucumber and lettuce the whole time .

On the 3rd of January I went shopping with my husband , adien and joel and while my hubby went and got lunch i sat and waited I had just sat down when I felt a gush and my waters broke but I was only 33 weeks pregnant. I was taken to flinders medical centre where they kept me in and gave me needles to develop my babies lungs then on Jan 7th I was induced. I gave birth to Joshua James Cotter in the evening he weighed 2.222kgs and let out a huge scream he even breast fed straight away which they said was rare for a baby that age. He stayed in the neonatal ward for 3 weeks and those weeks were the hardest weeks for me but he is my little miracle and soon came home. Again I breastfed him but it was difficult to travel 2 hours by bus and then 2 hours home then pumping every 4 hours I just couldn't keep up even with tablets my milk just didn't satisfy him.

I am so thankful for the band I often wonder if I didn't have the band would I of had the chance to have children at the size I was I honestly do not think I would of. So with the Lap-Band and diaformin I was given such a wonderful gift my 2 beautiful sons who I love so much.

Meeting my prince charming

In 2001 , 3 months after having my Lap-band operation I was playing a online game called Everquest when I met a guy by the name of Tanvaras well that was his characters name.... at first i didn't like him much and I think the feeling was mutual but as I sat playing Tamica my own character I got to know him better.

Well one evening my mouth got the better of me and I said as a joke " One day you are going to marry me" I was so ashamed after and well what should I expect he told me to " get lost" but in more colorful aussie slang and well that would of been the end of that but we started chatting and.....

In September 2001 Tanvaras who's real name is Trent came to visit me in South Australia he was originally from NSW and well he never went home.I weighed at least 130kgs by this stage and he had seen photos of before when I wasn't banded and well he didn't judge me for my looks he said " he liked that I spoke my mind" and so I guess love works in weird ways at times because he sort of proposed in 2003 and what could I say..... I had fell deeply in love with this man.

On March the 6th 2004 we were married in a beautiful garden my son Adien walked me down the garden path with my father and we had my family and my close friends with me and it was a beautiful day. I wore a beautiful white wedding dress that Mum and I got off ebay from America for $170.00 dollers and I honestly felt like a princess for a day. We were taken by Limo to hyatt regency for our reception and at 12 we headed off to the hotel we had booked it well in advance 6 months in fact but they double booked us !!!! so at 12 at night Trent and I found another hotel to stay at for the weekend.... they treated us so well and even set up a romantic dinner with candles, heart chocolates and a special movie , so what nearly turned into a bad ending to a lovely day really turned out better than expected.

Once apon a time

Ok so this life of mine is no fairytale when not yet any way, My name is Lisa Cotter I am 29 and married with 3 beautiful sons Adien 11, Joel 15 months and Joshua 5 months old and I have a obesity problem.

Ok well I did have a obesity problem but after a near fatal asthma attack in 1999 I was told about the Lap-Band. I weighed 165kgs at the time and though it took me until 2000 to go and see Dr J Toouli I had decided long ago to do something. I met with Dr Toouli from Flinders private hospital here in Adelaide and then Nick Wray a dietitian and decided to go ahead with the operation.

2 days before easter 2001 I had my operation weighing 155kg's I was scared and what made it worst was a lady in the bed next to mine was having hers removed and telling me all the bad things.... I remember at 2 pm being taken down to the operation area to wait and seeing a women being wheeled out screaming well I so did not want to stay in that room I wanted to get up and run but the door was locked.... so i did my nervous giggle and went ahead with it and well I am glad I did.

My hope is that My blog will keep me motivated to loose the last of the weight and reach my goal of 75kgs and that it may also help others or keep you amused just maybe..... so if I have not scared you away already then keep reading.